It was the great social philosopher, Groucho Marx, who once said, “Marriage is a wonderful institution…but who wants to live in an institution?!”
Of course you have heard about the two antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was excellent!
We tend to take a lot of things in scripture at face value, but sometimes, it is important to look at things with a more critical eye. For example, when reading today’s gospel passage, one might ask, “What the heck is the groom doing arriving at midnight? What’s up with that?!”
As he did so often, Jesus is using an image that is familiar to the people. For us, it’s not so obvious. What’s going on here.
It helps to remember that the customs surrounding the institution of marriage in first century Jewish life were very different. In fact, there were four stages. The first was the pounding out of the marriage contract between the heads of the two families. This could be done when the bride and groom were infants. Typically, a special tent was set up for the event into which the fathers of the bride and the groom would enter. You could not see in the tent, but you could sure here what they were saying. There was much ritual negotiation, some yelling, some fist pounding, but eventually the two would emerge arm in arm with the signed contract in hand. Then there was a big feast.
The second stage was the Betrothal. A lot like an engagement party, this usually took place when the parties were in late adolescence. It involved a solemn gathering of the families with a leader from the synagogue pronouncing prayers and blessings over the couple. The betrothal lasted for weeks, months, sometimes years until the couple came of age.
Then at the proper time, there was the transfer of the bride to the household of the groom. The groom would travel from his village to the village of the bride. (They learned early on, that if you married too often from your own village, the kids did not turn out right.) She would be dressed in the finest the family could muster along with her attendants and the rest of her retinue, and the caravan would travel back to the village of the groom. Travel being what it was, this could take some time. Also, you never really knew exactly when the groom would show up. Thus, the setting for our parable today. Once he arrived, he was escorted to his house for the final stage where the wedding feast took place to make the union public.
Jesus uses this parable to warn his disciples that the coming of the Son of Man could come at a time they least expected. For us, it is a very good reminder that you never know when God is going to break into your life. We need to be vigilant, so that we don’t miss the obvious and the subtle ways that God uses to get our attention. Prayer and participation in the sacraments is essential, so that when he does come, he may find us waiting and watchful.