Dear Fr. Leo
My brother’s wife recently died. She was not Catholic, but she sent the kids to Catholic schools and made sure they had all their sacraments. She would even accompany the family to Mass every Sunday. I’m not sure why, but she never joined the Church. In many ways, she was more Catholic than a lot of Catholics I know. Will she be able to have a funeral Mass in a Catholic church? – G
Dear G,
I am so very sorry for your loss. The question does come up from time to time. Namely, can someone who is not Catholic have a funeral liturgy in a Catholic church? A lot depends on the situation, but it the answer is usually yes.
There are many ways of being Catholic. Those in the OCIA (Order of Christian Initiation of Adults, formerly the RCIA) are usually given a funeral Mass, even though they had not yet been baptized or made an act of full communion. They are very much a part of the Church, even though they have not yet received full initiation.
Similar to that, there are those I like to call, “Catholics by association.” Although not formally Catholic, they are very much a part of the life of the parish. By your description, it sounds like your sister-in-law was an active part of the parish community, coming to Mass, instructing the children, coming to parish events. In such circumstances, it can be possible for her to have a Catholic funeral and be buried in a Catholic cemetery in the family plot.
If it does not seem prudent or practical to have a full funeral Mass, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass is a very good option. I did one of these once for a parishioner of mine who had joined the Church, but whose family were all very devout Lutherans. They were not comfortable with a funeral Mass for a variety of good reasons. So, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass made sense in that situation. These usually happen at the parish church but can also take place at a funeral home.
Sometimes, it does not make sense to have a funeral in the Church. For example, there was a parishioner whose family of origin was Muslim. Not only did they not like the fact he had become a Catholic, but they were very uncomfortable coming into the church building itself. In that case, simple graveside service made sense. Later, we had a memorial Mass for him with just his widow, their children, and a few close friends and parishioners.
In sum, there are times when a funeral Mass is allowed for someone who is not Catholic. There also some circumstances where that does not make sense. In those cases, there are many pastorally sensitive options to bring comfort the grieving family, and to commend our departed brothers or sisters into the arms of their Lord.
Dear Fr. Leo:
What is this “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” that Jesus talks about in Matthew 12:31? – J
Dear J,
Good question. It seems simple enough, but it takes a little bit of thought to get to the heart of the matter. First, we must acknowledge the reality of sin. Next, we must contemplate the even more powerful reality of God’s love. When we understand that the Holy Spirit is this very love of God working powerfully in the world, then we can understand what Jesus means when he says that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
Sin is an unfortunate, tragic, and a potentially deadly reality of the human condition. Even though the stain of original sin and all particular sins are washed away in baptism, we humans are still have a tendency to sin. We try our best, but sometimes we get selfish and fall into sin. The alternative is moral relativism which is simply hiding one’s head in the sand by denying the reality of the human condition.
The joy of the gospel lies in knowing that “nothing can separate us from the love of God.” (Rm 8:38). The Catechism of the Catholic Church confirms this when it says: “There are no limits to the mercy of God…” (CCC, 1864.) The good news is that although none of us is without sin, neither are any of us beyond the love of God.
The Church understands that the Holy Spirit is the love shared between the Father and the Son. It is the power of this love that created the world and then redeemed it. There is no sin that is more powerful than this love.
Nevertheless, we humans have a little thing called free will. If we have even the smallest iota of faith that God can forgive our sins, that can be enough. However, as the Catechism goes on to say, “but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss.” (CCC, 1864).
Such a deliberate refusal to believe in the power of God’s love to forgive one’s sins constitutes a blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. God condemns no one to hell. The sad reality is that everyone in hell has freely chosen to be there.