Ask Fr. Leo – Catholic and Divorced, When Does One become Catholic

Dear Fr. Leo;

      I’m divorced.  Can I still go to communion?  Do I need to get an annulment?  – E. 

Dear E:

      I’m so very sorry for the breakup of your marriage.  Thank you for your very important questions. 

      Regarding the first one, I’ve written on this before. The question keeps coming up and there is a lot of unfortunate confusion about this.

      I’m not sure where the confusion came from, but simply being divorced does not exclude one from communion.  Often, through no fault his or her own, a person will find themselves experiencing the pain of the divorce.  I have found that there are sometimes necessary civil divorces, but there are no good ones.  When a person is experiencing this pain there are a whole range of emotions including trauma, pain, anger, betrayal, sadness, guilt, and yes, even relief.  The life they knew before, whether for good or bad, has been turned on its head.  It is very disorienting.  You do not invest yourself so in a married relationship, good or bad, and simply walk away from it unaffected.  If you don’t need your Church during that time, I don’t know when you do.  Sadly, in their confusion many people feel that because their marriage failed, they have somehow failed their Church or that they are somehow excommunicated because of the divorce. Simply being divorced does not change one’s status in the Church.  You are not excommunicated. In fact, you are embraced. 

      One of the ways that happens in through the DivorceCare ministry.  At present this group meets at St. Patrick’s Parish on Tuesday evenings. In this ministry, those who have experienced the pain of divorce are loved, prayerfully supported, and receive the practical resources to pick up the pieces and begin life anew. Check out the St. Pat’s website for details:  https://www.st.patsak.org.

      Petitioning the Marriage Tribunal for a declaration of nullity (commonly called an “annulment”) is not necessary at that time. However, once things have stabilized, some people find it helpful and cathartic to go through the process as a means of obtaining closure.  A declaration of nullity only becomes necessary if one is looking to get married again.  At that time it will be necessary to do so that the preparing minister can be certain that you are free to marry. Some cases are quite simple and can be completed in a matter of weeks. Others are more complicated and can take a year or so. The Tribunal staff is a wonderful group of people who understand the delicacy of your situation and are there to help.  Please see the Tribunal web page: https://www.aoaj.org/office-of-the-tribunal for details. 


Dear Fr. Leo,

     We had a great Easter Vigil at my parish with lots of people being baptized and confirmed. It has been a joy to share the journey of these newly baptized from being inquirers to catechumens to elect and then to full members of the Church.  But I got to thinking, they have already been a part of our parish community for months, sometimes years, before their “initiation.” When does one actually become “Catholic” – at inquiry, at catechumenate, at purification and enlightenment, at baptism?   – T

Dear T:

Great question. I’ve written before about those who are “Catholic by association,” i.e., the very active non-Catholic spouse of a parishioner, etc.  Those in the RCIA who have entered the catechumenate are already considered to be part of the Church in a very special way. This is spelled out in Canon 206 of the Code of Canon Law.  Paragraph one states: Catechumens, that is, those who ask by explicit choice under the influence of the Holy Spirit to be incorporated into the Church, are joined to it in a special way. By this same desire, just as by the life of faith, hope, and charity which they lead, they are united with the Church which already cherishes them as its own.

      As such, they have certain rights and privileges, even though they are not yet fully initiated.  Paragraph 2 goes on to say: The Church has a special care for catechumens; while it invites them to lead a life of the gospel and introduces them to the celebration of sacred rites, it already grants them various prerogatives which are proper to Christians.

      For example, if a catechumen died before their baptism, they would receive a Mass of Christian Burial and could be buried in a Catholic Cemetery.  There are certain instances throughout history where catechumens have been martyred and thus are listed in the Canon of Saints.  No doubt about it. Once a person enters the catechumenate, the Church considered them to be “Catholic.”