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Ask Fr. Leo – Who Gets a Catholic Funeral?

Dear Fr. Leo

My brother’s wife recently died. She was not Catholic, but she sent the kids to Catholic schools and made sure they had all their sacraments. She would even accompany the family to Mass every Sunday.  I’m not sure why, but she never joined the Church. In many ways, she was more Catholic than a lot of Catholics I know. Will she be able to have a funeral Mass in a Catholic church?  – G

Dear G,

I am so very sorry for your loss.  The question does come up from time to time.  Namely, can someone who is not Catholic have a funeral liturgy in a Catholic church? A lot depends on the situation, but it the answer is usually yes. 

There are many ways of being Catholic. Those in the OCIA (Order of Christian Initiation of Adults, formerly the RCIA) are usually given a funeral Mass, even though they had not yet been baptized or made an act of full communion.  They are very much a part of the Church, even though they have not yet received full initiation. 

Similar to that, there are those I like to call, “Catholics by association.” Although not formally Catholic, they are very much a part of the life of the parish. By your description, it sounds like your sister-in-law was an active part of the parish community, coming to Mass, instructing the children, coming to parish events.  In such circumstances, it can be possible for her to have a Catholic funeral and be buried in a Catholic cemetery in the family plot. 

If it does not seem prudent or practical to have a full funeral Mass, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass is a very good option. I did one of these once for a parishioner of mine who had joined the Church, but whose family were all very devout Lutherans. They were not comfortable with a funeral Mass for a variety of good reasons.  So, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass made sense in that situation. These usually happen at the parish church but can also take place at a funeral home.

Sometimes, it does not make sense to have a funeral in the Church. For example, there was a parishioner whose family of origin was Muslim. Not only did they not like the fact he had become a Catholic, but they were very uncomfortable coming into the church building itself.  In that case, simple graveside service made sense.  Later, we had a memorial Mass for him with just his widow, their children, and a few close friends and parishioners.

In sum, there are times when a funeral Mass is allowed for someone who is not Catholic.  There also some circumstances where that does not make sense. In those cases, there are many pastorally sensitive options to bring comfort the grieving family, and to commend our departed brothers or sisters into the arms of their Lord.

Dear Fr. Leo:

What is this “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” that Jesus talks about in Matthew 12:31? – J

Dear J,

Good question. It seems simple enough, but it takes a little bit of thought to get to the heart of the matter. First, we must acknowledge the reality of sin. Next, we must contemplate the even more powerful reality of God’s love. When we understand that the Holy Spirit is this very love of God working powerfully in the world, then we can understand what Jesus means when he says that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Sin is an unfortunate, tragic, and a potentially deadly reality of the human condition. Even though the stain of original sin and all particular sins are washed away in baptism, we humans are still have a tendency to sin. We try our best, but sometimes we get selfish and fall into sin. The alternative is moral relativism which is simply hiding one’s head in the sand by denying the reality of the human condition.

The joy of the gospel lies in knowing that “nothing can separate us from the love of God.” (Rm 8:38).  The Catechism of the Catholic Church confirms this when it says: “There are no limits to the mercy of God…” (CCC, 1864.) The good news is that although none of us is without sin, neither are any of us beyond the love of God.

The Church understands that the Holy Spirit is the love shared between the Father and the Son. It is the power of this love that created the world and then redeemed it. There is no sin that is more powerful than this love. 

Nevertheless, we humans have a little thing called free will. If we have even the smallest iota of faith that God can forgive our sins, that can be enough. However, as the Catechism goes on to say, “but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit. Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss.” (CCC, 1864). 

Such a deliberate refusal to believe in the power of God’s love to forgive one’s sins constitutes a blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. God condemns no one to hell. The sad reality is that everyone in hell has freely chosen to be there.

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Ask Fr. Leo – Catholic and Divorced, When Does One become Catholic

Dear Fr. Leo;

      I’m divorced.  Can I still go to communion?  Do I need to get an annulment?  – E. 

Dear E:

      I’m so very sorry for the breakup of your marriage.  Thank you for your very important questions. 

      Regarding the first one, I’ve written on this before. The question keeps coming up and there is a lot of unfortunate confusion about this.

      I’m not sure where the confusion came from, but simply being divorced does not exclude one from communion.  Often, through no fault his or her own, a person will find themselves experiencing the pain of the divorce.  I have found that there are sometimes necessary civil divorces, but there are no good ones.  When a person is experiencing this pain there are a whole range of emotions including trauma, pain, anger, betrayal, sadness, guilt, and yes, even relief.  The life they knew before, whether for good or bad, has been turned on its head.  It is very disorienting.  You do not invest yourself so in a married relationship, good or bad, and simply walk away from it unaffected.  If you don’t need your Church during that time, I don’t know when you do.  Sadly, in their confusion many people feel that because their marriage failed, they have somehow failed their Church or that they are somehow excommunicated because of the divorce. Simply being divorced does not change one’s status in the Church.  You are not excommunicated. In fact, you are embraced. 

      One of the ways that happens in through the DivorceCare ministry.  At present this group meets at St. Patrick’s Parish on Tuesday evenings. In this ministry, those who have experienced the pain of divorce are loved, prayerfully supported, and receive the practical resources to pick up the pieces and begin life anew. Check out the St. Pat’s website for details:  https://www.st.patsak.org.

      Petitioning the Marriage Tribunal for a declaration of nullity (commonly called an “annulment”) is not necessary at that time. However, once things have stabilized, some people find it helpful and cathartic to go through the process as a means of obtaining closure.  A declaration of nullity only becomes necessary if one is looking to get married again.  At that time it will be necessary to do so that the preparing minister can be certain that you are free to marry. Some cases are quite simple and can be completed in a matter of weeks. Others are more complicated and can take a year or so. The Tribunal staff is a wonderful group of people who understand the delicacy of your situation and are there to help.  Please see the Tribunal web page: https://www.aoaj.org/office-of-the-tribunal for details. 

Dear Fr. Leo,

     We had a great Easter Vigil at my parish with lots of people being baptized and confirmed. It has been a joy to share the journey of these newly baptized from being inquirers to catechumens to elect and then to full members of the Church.  But I got to thinking, they have already been a part of our parish community for months, sometimes years, before their “initiation.” When does one actually become “Catholic” – at inquiry, at catechumenate, at purification and enlightenment, at baptism?   – T

Dear T:

Great question. I’ve written before about those who are “Catholic by association,” i.e., the very active non-Catholic spouse of a parishioner, etc.  Those in the RCIA who have entered the catechumenate are already considered to be part of the Church in a very special way. This is spelled out in Canon 206 of the Code of Canon Law.  Paragraph one states: Catechumens, that is, those who ask by explicit choice under the influence of the Holy Spirit to be incorporated into the Church, are joined to it in a special way. By this same desire, just as by the life of faith, hope, and charity which they lead, they are united with the Church which already cherishes them as its own.

      As such, they have certain rights and privileges, even though they are not yet fully initiated.  Paragraph 2 goes on to say: The Church has a special care for catechumens; while it invites them to lead a life of the gospel and introduces them to the celebration of sacred rites, it already grants them various prerogatives which are proper to Christians.

      For example, if a catechumen died before their baptism, they would receive a Mass of Christian Burial and could be buried in a Catholic Cemetery.  There are certain instances throughout history where catechumens have been martyred and thus are listed in the Canon of Saints.  No doubt about it. Once a person enters the catechumenate, the Church considered them to be “Catholic.” 

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Holy Spirit 101

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday, losing its entire load.  Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

     Each year the Church commemorates the descent of the Holy Spirit upon the Mary and the Apostles in the Upper Room. Pentecost is celebrated as the “birthday of the Church. We dress in red vestments to call to mind the tongues as of fire that rested on the heads of the disciples. We chant, “Come, Holy Spirit!” But who is the Holy Spirit and what’s it all about?

       The first thing we see from the sacred text is that the Holy Spirit is POWER, specifically the power of the love of God active in the life of the Church and in every Christian. Theologically, we understand the Holy Spirit as the love between the Father and the Son. By its very nature, love is procreating animating, and recreating. It is procreative in the act of creation itself. God does not need the universe and everyone in it, but God is love and love creates. So here we are, created in love for love.

       The Holy Spirit is also animating, that is it gives the “anima” or soul that enables the universe, the Church, each one of us to become what we are created to be in the first place. It was the power of the Spirit that breathed over the waters and gave life to all things. It was the power of the Spirit by which the Word took flesh of the Blessed Virgin Mary. It was the power of the Spirit that breathed life and courage into the disciples in the Upper Room so that they ceased to be frightened and went forth boldly proclaiming the resurrection and the forgiveness of sins.

       The Holy Spirit is also recreating. Most profoundly, this happens in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Again, love by its nature leads to ever-deepening communion (unity at the very level of being).  However, because the world and everyone in it has limits, those limits will manifest themselves, sometimes in very hurtful and divisive ways.  It is here that the power of the Spirit enables us to seek forgiveness from those whom we have sinned against and to forgive those who have sinned against us. Forgiveness is the power of the Spirit overcoming our limitations and allowing us to transcend the offense and open the way for reconciliation. There is no sin greater than the power of God’s love to forgive. By the same token, because the same spirit dwells in us, there is no sin greater than our power to forgive.

       In sum, the Holy Spirit is the power of God’s love active in the world and the life of the Church. This love is at one procreating, animating and recreating. It is the power of the God’s love that enables us to love as God loves and so help the world become what he has created it to be.  

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Ask Fr. Leo – Who Gets a Catholic Funeral

[Greeting, Church Fans! The homilies this week are a bit OCIA and parish centric. It has differed at every Mass so far. You can always catch them on the parish FB page by clicking here. Or clicking here: https://www.facebook.com/stpatsak. So, as promised, here one of my “Ask Fr. Leo” columns from the newspaper. Enjoy.]

Dear Fr. Leo

My brother’s wife recently died. She was not Catholic, but she sent the kids to Catholic schools and made sure they had all their sacraments. She would even accompany the family to Mass every Sunday. I’m not sure why, but she never joined the Church. In many ways, she was more Catholic than a lot of Catholics I know. Will she be able to have a funeral Mass in a Catholic church? – G

Dear G,

I am so very sorry for your loss. The question does come up from time to time. Namely, can someone who is not Catholic have a funeral liturgy in a Catholic church? A lot depends on the situation, but it the answer is usually yes.

There are many ways of being Catholic. Those in the OCIA (Order of Christian Initiation of Adults, formerly the RCIA) are usually given a funeral Mass, even though they had not yet been baptized or made an act of full communion. They are very much a part of the Church, even though they have not yet received full initiation.

Similar to that, there are those I like to call, “Catholics by association.” Although not formally Catholic, they are very much a part of the life of the parish. By your description, it sounds like your sister-in-law was an active part of the parish community, coming to Mass, instructing the children, coming to parish events. In such circumstances, it can be possible for her to have a Catholic funeral and be buried in a Catholic cemetery in the family plot.

If it does not seem prudent or practical to have a full funeral Mass, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass is a very good option. I did one of these once for a parishioner of mine who had joined the Church, but whose family were all very devout Lutherans. They were not comfortable with a funeral Mass for a variety of good reasons. So, the Funeral Liturgy Without a Mass made sense in that situation. These usually happen at the parish church but can also take place at a funeral home.

Sometimes, it does not make sense to have a funeral in the Church. For example, there was a parishioner whose family of origin was Muslim. Not only did they not like the fact he had become a Catholic, but they were very uncomfortable coming into the church building itself. In that case, simple graveside service made sense. Later, we had a memorial Mass for him with just his widow, their children, and a few close friends and parishioners.

In sum, there are times when a funeral Mass is allowed for someone who is not Catholic. There also some circumstances where that does not make sense. In those cases, there are many pastorally sensitive options to bring comfort the grieving family, and to commend our departed brothers or sisters into the arms of their Lord.

Dear Fr. Leo:

What is this “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” that Jesus talks about in Matthew 12:31? – J

Dear J,

Good question. It seems simple enough, but it takes a little bit of thought to get to the heart of the matter. First, we must acknowledge the reality of sin. Next, we must contemplate the even more powerful reality of God’s love. When we understand that the Holy Spirit is this very love of God working powerfully in the world, then we can understand what Jesus means when he says that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

Sin is an unfortunate, tragic, and a potentially deadly reality of the human condition. Even though the stain of original sin and all particular sins are washed away in baptism, we humans are still have a tendency to sin. We try our best, but sometimes we get selfish and fall into sin. The alternative is moral relativism which is simply hiding one’s head in the sand by denying the reality of the human condition.

The joy of the gospel lies in knowing that “nothing can separate us from the love of God.” (Rm 8:38). The Catechism of the Catholic Church confirms this when it says: “There are no limits to the mercy of God…” (CCC, 1864.) The good news is that although none of us is without sin, neither are any of us beyond the love of God.

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Good to Be Here.

     There are certain places that always remain special. For many of us, it is the house we grew up in, or our hometown, our home parish, our high school, the place where you got baptized, engaged or ordained; church, chapel, or meditative place.

       I imagine Mt. Tabor was like that for Peter, James and John. The vision of Christ transfigured in glory, conversing with Moses and Elijah, must have been pretty special for them, especially in light of what they experienced immediately afterwards once they went up to Jerusalem.

In ancient times, a mountaintop was the place to go to encounter the Divine. It’s seems a bit redundant that the Incarnate Word of God would have to do so, since he was already divine, but Jesus took Peter, James, and John up there for their sakes, not his. From that point forward, they are headed to Jerusalem where he will be mocked, scourged, and crucified. So, he gives them a glimpse of his present and future glory to strengthen their faith when these things happened. 

I think all of us have had similar experiences in our relationship with God and others. There are those moments of insight in prayer and in friendships, when you see things as they are with great clarity. Later, life gets messy, confusing, and sometimes scary. Thinking back on that moment of insight gets us through those moments because we know they are not the ultimate reality. That’s what Jesus did for the disciples and that is what he continues to do for us, especially in the Eucharist where we get a foretaste and promise of the ultimate reality of the Kingdom. It is our Mt. Tabor that gets us through the messiness that life often dishes out. 

It is good for us to be here…to gather, to share our sacred stories, to break the bread, and to be sent into a world in desperate need of clarity and hope.

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Why Job?

     Do you ever wonder why books like Job and Lamentations are in the  Bible? Or how about my favorite, Psalm 64 which begins with, “Hear my voice, O Lord, as I complain!”

       We often look to the sacred scriptures for inspiration, and we should. However, it is important to remember that while all of scripture is inspired, not all of scripture is “inspirational.” The Bible is an anthology of many different types of literature. There are histories, legal texts, prophetic utterances, poetry, letters, pious novels, apocalyptic visions, and books like Job and Lamentations that are what one might call “empathetic texts.” 

       Life is not all sweetness and roses, butterflies and rainbows. Sometimes life throws us some real harsh realities—accidents, financial uncertainty, illness, and heartache. Empathetic texts like Job are in there precisely because sometimes life is hard. When it is, we should never hesitate to bring our troubles to the Lord. Empathetic texts help us give voice to how we feel. God wants to help us in our need, but he does not come uninvited. When you read texts like Psalm 22 which begins, “My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?”, they always end on a hopeful note. The last eight verses of that same psalm begins with:

       “For he has not spurned or disdained

              the misery of this poor wretch,

       Did not turn away from me,

              but heard me when I cried out.”

       The ministry of Jesus in Peter’s house is a strong example of how God is with us in our need. The people in Capernaum were not immune from suffering and disease. Jesus is there for two reasons. First, by his presence he shows that even though pain and suffering are part of the human condition, God is present to us in the midst of it all. Secondly, by healing many and driving out demons, he shows that he is truly Emmanuel, God-with-us, not just when things are going well, but especially when things are tough.

       Since this is true, there is no part of the life of the Christian that is separated from the love of God. This was true for the Israelites, it was true during Jesus ministry, and, through the life and sacraments of the Church, it also true today. The Eucharist is a prime example. The Mass is the ultimate “come as you are” party. It doesn’t matter if you are happy, sad, mad, or glad. Christ is truly and substantially present here. He comes to us as we are, let us make room for him as he is. 

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Priest, King, Savior – Epiphany, 2023

     Merry Christmas, Day 14! We get 15 days of Christmas this year and I am using them all! I just got my Christmas cards out on Wednesday.

       There’s a meme that says if there were three wise women instead of wise men, they would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.  There is more, but you get the idea. 

       Let’s talk a little bit about these gifts of the Magi. As the meme points out, they are not  all that practical. Yet, emphasizing them, Matthew is making the point that this little baby Jesus really is the Messiah.

       In the Isaiah 60;1-6 we see the nations coming to worship in Jerusalem, bringing gifts of gold and frankincense. This was for a very good reason. The long-awaited Messiah was to be a great priest-king who would reestablish true worship and the Kingdom of Israel. Gold represents the tribute that would be given a king. Frankincense is the proper gift to a priest who would offer it as a pleasing fragrance to God on the altar of incense.

       Thus, it makes perfect sense that the Magi, representing the nations, would bring gold and frankincense to the new Messiah, as befitted a priest-king.

       But the Magi bring something else—myrrh, an aromatic balm typically used in the preparation of bodies for burial. That seems a bit out of sorts until you realize that the gift of myrrh is a foreshadowing of Jesus’ passion and death. What Matthew is saying is that Jesus is indeed the expected priest-king Messiah, but it is by his passion and death that he will win the victory and establish the Kingdom.

       The gifts are symbolic, not practical. They are also a good reminder to us not to get wrapped in our own expectations of what we expect Jesus to be and pay closer attention to who Jesus really is. Seeing Jesus for who he really is allows us to give a more authentic witness of him to the world. 

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Holy Families

[Here’s some thoughts along with a couple of fun pictures from the Christmas pageant last weekend.]

I hate needless distractions.

**SQUIRREL!!!**

 
But alas, that is exactly what happens when St. Paul’s Letter to the Colossians is read as we celebrate the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. All too often we forget about the first part of the reading and get distracted by the part about “wives, be subordinate to your husbands, etc.” All too often it turns into “Husbands, elbow your wives and wink. Wives, glare at your husbands. Children, look on in exasperation at your parents.” 

We need to be more noble than that. 

If we learn one thing from Our Lord, it is that whether it be in the Church at home, in the Church at the parish, in the Church at the archdiocese, or in the Church universal, any authority exercised in the Church must be exercised in a spirit of loving service to the other. Otherwise, we are no better than secular society where authority is often wielded like a club to beat others into submission. Our Lord says very plainly, “But it shall not be so among you. Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant.” (Mt. 20:25)

St. Paul shows us how. “Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another…” (Col 3:12)

They say that charity begins at home. Nowhere is this more true than in the Christian family. If we want our families to be holy families in imitation of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, we need to take a good look at how they lived.

A good reminder is the statue of the Holy Family in our parish church. Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, prayer, faithfulness to God and to each other…this is what makes every Christian family a holy family.

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Nothing Will Be Impossible for God

One of my favorite depictions of the Annunciation is by Henry Ossawa Tanner. Tanner was the son of an African Methodist Episcopal minister. He specialized in religious subjects and wanted to experience the places and people where the biblical events took place. He painted his Annunciation soon after he     returned from a trip to the Holy Land and Egypt in 1898. In Tanner’s version, the Virgin Mary is depicted roused from sleep and sitting on the edge of her bed with her hands folded in her lap. The Angel Gabriel is a pillar of bright, golden light.

It is Mary’s expression that makes the painting. She is at once pensive and pondering. It is the expression of one who realizes that her whole life is about to change. There is a quiet determination there as well.

The painting currently resides at the Philadelphia Museum of Art.  You can see it at: https://philamuseum.org/collection/object/104384

What Tanner has captured so well are the moments surrounding the Virgin Mary’s decision to allow God’s plan to unfold in her life. It is the moment her vocation is revealed and accepted. The world outside that room goes on completely unaware that because of the decision of a young girl in Nazareth, nothing will ever be the same. 

Is it so different for each one of us? It may not be as dramatic, but does not God reveal to each of us at some point in our life what our part will be in the   story of salvation? Does not each of us in the moment ponder our future? Do we not pause, ever so briefly, to consider the good things we will not do, so that we can do this one particular good thing that God is asking us to do?

Embracing our part of God’s plan so that the world may become what he has created it to be is no small thing.  We all have our role to play. When we decide to follow God’s plan for us, we are forever changed.  The world can never be the same. At least that part of the world with which we come into     contact. 

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The Source of Our Joy

[Here is the base text, the actual homily has much more. Check it out at: https://fb.watch/o-067RIHvs/]

  If I ever found a religious order (and I just might!), they will not be mendicants, like the Franciscans or the Dominicans, they will be hunter/gatherers. They will hunt and fish and trap and grow big gardens and go berry picking and such so that they can be connected to this land and its people. The habit will also be something special. Based on the Dominican habit, the cowl and hood will be the camouflage that is appropriate for the season. The Capa Magna will also be camo, but be made of fleece lined Gor-tex. In addition to the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience, they will have to take a vow of joy.

       Our Holy Father, whose 87th birthday is today, has hit the nail on the head when he affirms that joy is a hallmark of those who embrace the gospel. Those who open themselves to the grace of God and seek to do his will cannot help but radiate a holy joy. How fitting that the Church asks us to reflect on holy joy on the Third Sunday of Advent, known as “Gaudete Sunday”, which is Latin for “rejoice” or “be joyful.”

       As we do so, it is important not to confuse joy with mere happiness. Happiness is an emotion. Our secular society talks much about “the pursuit of happiness”, but this is an unfortunately misplaced desire. Happiness is an emotion. It is a symptom, the result of something else. No emotion lasts very long. If someone is always happy, we call them “manic” and refer them to a mental health professional. 

       Joy is different.  It comes from a much deeper source. Much to the perplexity of secular society, the Christian can be joyful even in the midst of great trial, illness, or affliction. Many of the Roman officials were impressed and some converted by the joy they saw on the martyrs faces as they went to a most horrible death. 

       At its heart, joy springs from the state of blessedness (“beatitude”) when the will of God and the will of the human person are in perfect harmony.  I had a religious sister exclaim to me once, “You know, Leo, you just can’t beat doing the will of God!” 

       So the first task of the Christian, and the source of our joy, is to discern the will of God, in general and in particular. To get insight into God’s plan for the salvation of the world, I highly recommend a reading of the Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, known as Gaudium et Spes. If you want to know what we are all about as the Church in the modern world, read this document.

       Regarding ourselves, discerning the will of God takes time. We need to spend time in silence and prayer. We need to tune out all the noise that seeks to distract or misdirect us, so that we can hear the still small voice that will lead us to know God’s will and therein find the source of our joy.